Then this past Wednesday we met with one of the pastor's at Fivestones church where we attend, and he had a time of question/answer with us to get to know us on a more personal basis so he could write the reference letter the agency was waiting on. I have to admit I was a little nervous going to this meeting...not sure why, but once we got there it was a breeze and we had a great time talking and sharing our life story and what brought us to the point of pursing the route of adoption, etc. We had to have 1 reference letter from a pastor and 3 others sent in by people who we were not related to but had known more than 2 years and could attest to our personalities and abilities to raise kids. Those letters have all been completed and sent in to the agency thanks to the help of some very close friends.
Financially things are moving along bit by bit as well. We were lacking around $500 to begin our home study and that came through exactly as I needed to mail the check last week! God is Good!! We just started having interest from people on purchasing puzzle pieces through our puzzle piece fundraiser, we are truly hoping that will take off so we can have an awesome keepsake by compiling the pieces purchased by every individual to complete the puzzle and help bring "baby Woods" home. We are starting our home study and that process takes 3 months to complete, upon completion we need to have raised $7,000! I know we can do it by God's grace.
I wanted to share with you as well about a seminar workshop we attended through the agency today that is a required part of the adoption process. First of all we had no idea what to expect...we knew it was an adoptive couples workshop and that it was an all day event but that was about it. I had no idea going into it what a emotionally heavy day it would turn out to be. A portion of the day was dedicated to a panel of adoptive families who shared their journeys and experiences, all of them were truly amazing! We were able to ask questions and better understand some of the unknowns and clear up thoughts that cause fear such as, "how do open adoptions work, how open are they?", "how long was your waiting period from start to finish?", "what is good advice for people just starting the process?", etc. There were at least 25 to 30 couples from all across the state of NC attending the meeting and we were all at different points of the adoption process, but it was amazing sitting in that room knowing we were all there for a common goal, to give a good home to a child who needs it. The afternoon portion of the event was dedicated to a panel of birthmothers, and that's where the really heavy emotions settled in. I was blown away by their broken life stories that lead them to the point of placing their child for adoption. Two of the young women who shared had both been homeless and in really bad situations such as domestic abuse at the time of finding out they were pregnant, they had no idea what to do but knew that aborting the baby was not an option for them. However they were very scared and didn't want to raise a baby while on the streets and not having any way to care for them. One of the girls mother persistently tried to get her to abort and when she refused her mom cut off all communication and she was left completely alone to figure it all out. It was a very low and scary point in their lives to try and figure out what to do. They both began to research the option of adoption and knew it was the right thing to do and wanted the absolute best for their child, and a mostly a life of stability that they couldn't possibly offer. There is not a day that goes by that they don't wish it could have been different and that there was a way they could have kept their child, but they have both resolved to make something of themselves, go to school, have jobs and try to make their kids proud of where they came from and what they eventually did. Another lady who works in the field of adoption now shared her life story about how she was a birthmother many years ago and was not in a good situation when she became pregnant and she placed her child for adoption way before the legal system is what it is now helping to protect the agreement made between an adoptive parent and the biological mom. The couple she selected agreed upon an open adoption with her and for the first 3 years kept up their end of the agreement, but after that became harder to contact, locate, etc and she has only seen her daughter 2x in the past 10 years when the agreement was she was supposed to be allowed a yearly visit. To hear about the deep hurt and pain she went through was extremely hard as well. I could go into more detail on all of their stories but I don't want this to go on forever. Needless to say I was holding in tears best I could all day because we were in a room full of people I didn't know well. But when we left I just felt such a heavy weight and burden that these birthmothers feel as they try to pursue what is the best for their child. I couldn't hardly talk on the way home, and Billy felt the same, we were drained. Once I got home I couldn't hold it back anymore and the tears flowed and flowed as I sobbed my heart out to God. I have such a new perspective for these birthmothers and I felt sad I had ever thought initially the only route I would want to go in adoption is closed. If I were the birthmother I would want the ongoing contact to know I had made the right decision and that my child was well and happy and ok in life. These birthmothers are people just like you and me, they have just been through so much more in life than I can ever comprehend because I don't come from a broken life but one of a very valued family relationship where we were all close and relied on each other and were fully loved. Anyone who feels led I ask to please pray with me on a consistent basis for the birthmother God will bring across our path, that we can not only take care of the most precious thing she has and is going to entrust to us, her child, but also that we can minister to her heart and show her the same amount of love and concern. The birthmothers today shared one of the biggest things that gave them the most peace was when the adoptive moms would reach out to them by text and ask how they were doing, even though they didn't have to, just showing them you care about them as much as you do their child. Many of them don't feel cared about otherwise and may not have any family/friends to turn to.
We also learned a few other things during the meeting..I will try to keep this short..The agency told us they usually show our profile photo album to the birthmothers once they are about 7 months along. Which means when you are selected there is little time after you get that call to meet a birthmother for the first time and the actual due date of the child. Very exciting! But also a little intimidating because once we are a waiting family in 3 months after the home study in finished, we could be matched right away and it be very soon after that we have a baby.So our getting everything prepared period is now. Also in most cases the birthmothers pick the names for the child, sometimes if you have a name you really like you might could use the name they pick as the middle name. But the names they select usually have a lot of meaning to them and it means a lot if you keep that name. I had no idea that's how it worked and I honestly have mixed feelings about that part of it. So I will be praying about that.
I didn't mean to make this soooo long but there was a lot to share. I will try to post a little bit more regularly as things happen so it isn't one big long post. Thank you again for all your continued support through prayers and financial gifts..we appreciate it!!!!
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