Happy Halloween and Happy Beginnings of Home Study!!

Happy Halloween to everyone!! Maylena is especially excited about Halloween this year because in years past we haven't really celebrated it or had her dress up and trick or treat because she was already in bed for the night at that point. However, this year she has already been Tinkerbell at a festival and trunk or treat at her Preschool church, and she was Sleeping Beauty at her Preschool Halloween party today, tonight she will be a bunny at trick or treating and going to my Uncles for a party. She is thrilled about all this dressing up and candy!!
I received an email earlier this week from the agency saying they had assigned up a case worker, Kim, who would be reading through our file and then calling us to set up the home study visits. Well I got that call today and YAY, that's my Happy Halloween!! We are meeting for our first visit next Wednesday as a couple visit. Kim explained to me that the way it works with a domestic adoption, they will have a total of 4 visits. The first 3 will be held at the Christian Adoption Agency office and the last meeting will be held in our home. The 1st meeting is for both of us to attend together...it will be at 7pm next Wednesday and will last 2 hours. Please pray for us as that comes up because I am sure I will be nervous about what they will ask us and go over based off all the things we wrote about ourselves and submitted to them. Honestly you have to write so many things and you want to get them done and back to them as soon as possible so I can't really remember even now all that I wrote. Haha. Then the next 2 meetings will be separate meetings, one with Billy and Kim and one with me and Kim. That will probably make us even more nervous. The final visit will be a visit to our actual home where Kim will look around and do a write up on us to finalize our case. Each visit is spaced about a week to 10 days apart. So we are getting ready to be especially busy along with all the events the upcoming holidays bring as well. I will be posing as much as possible after each visit to give you insight as to how it went.
I want to take a minute to share a setback we had...its hard for me to talk about it because it was total stupidity on my part and sometimes that's hard to admit! The very first fundraiser we did through the Apparent Project where we sold jewelry sets of earrings, necklaces and bracelets and half of the funds we raised went directly to the people of Haiti that made them. Well, after the funds were raised by lots of hard work from my mother-in-law and very generous support of friends and family, I stuffed our portion of the funds raised $327 cash in an envelop and sent it out that day to the agency. I was just so excited to get it out right then and there to them so it could be put on our account, I didn't think a thing about it at the time. However we got a letter in the mail from the agency last week stating we owed money still to start our home study and they listed out all the posted checks, etc that had been received and put towards our account. I looked it over and immediately realized there was a mistake on their part because no where did it list the cash I mailed or 2 other checks that had been sent. Because on my records we were a little ahead of raised funds to start the home study. I called and talked to Robin who is handling all our documentation up til that point. She said they had received the other 2 checks that I wasn't seeing listed on the account but did not receive any cash from me. She took my number and wanted to look into it and call me back. Upon calling me back she informed me that they definitely did not get that money in the mail, she opens it all because she is the receptionist and she would have remembered that much coming in cash because no one really sends cash and especially of that amount...it would have been a red flag. I immediately broke down on the phone with her and told her I needed to go because I couldn't help but cry after all that hard work and how much each and every dollar counts to us and helping reach our large goal. She didn't know what to say other than she was really sorry and understood and to please mail checks in the future. I got off the phone and called my mom and Billy and cried some more because this was money we wouldn't just be able to get back that easily so it felt like a huge loss to me. Billy reminded me that still we helped the people in Haiti so good did come of it, and that is true. My mom said she hopes whoever took that money needed it more than us. All these things did little to make me feel much better in the moment though.
That weekend I was working at the Animal Hospital and I swallowed my pride and shared with one of my close friends there what had happened and another co-worker who I am just getting to know because she was recently hired was listening as well. At the end of my story Erin who is very new and I don't even know as well said I want to write you a check right now for $50 to go towards those funds. I was blown away!! She wished she could write me the full amount... I was super blessed by how God works and her giving me the $50. How cool. All because I decided to swallow my pride and share how stupid I was to even put that cash in the mail to begin with. Erin assured me that God knew I would do that and He will work it for good.
I want to give an update on our puzzle fundraiser....we have had that $50 donation from Erin and for that I put her name on 5 pieces of our puzzle, and we also had a donation from Billy's grandfather Ted Woods with a very generous $400 donation and we put his name on 40 pieces. Billy and I are working towards buying pieces as well and have done 5 pieces ourselves. I will be posting a picture of it with my next post. But as a reminder we have a long way to go on putting that puzzle together and ANY size purchase of puzzle pieces is greatly appreciated, whether its $10 for 1 piece or multiple pieces.
Cindy Garner, a lady we went to church with years ago has donated 12 beautiful spa baskets for me to sell and use the full funds for our adoption. There are detox bath salts, hand scrubs, and a lotion bar, in 3 different scents, orange, lavendar and peppermint. She didn't want or expect anything in return. She has adopted her 2 children and is a big fan of helping us get through this process. My mom is taking them to her jewelry shows and having them on the table to sell, she sold 4 yesterday at her first show! If anyone is interested in these please email me, or post a comment and I will send a picture of them. They are arranged in very pretty baskets and are $20 a piece. Its another good thought for Christmas gifts. Very exciting how everyone is coming together to help us make this happen. We are just so blessed by incredible friends and family!!

Catch Up Time

I am getting a little behind on my blog posts lately and I really need to take a chance to bring everyone up to speed. We have still been moving along with the process and have finally accomplished the completion of our formal application!! It took a little over the projected month they gave us to finish it, but with Billy and I working, plus raising Maylena, its hard to find the extra time to sit down and do the type of reflection it required to write a good autobiography and compile all the needed documents. We went on a family beach trip 1st weekend of October to visit my grandad at the Outer Banks and that's when Billy had a chance to start and complete his autobiography. We spent and hour and a half together at the computer when we got back home, with him reading out to me what he wrote and I was typing as fast as I could for the whole time. But we got it done and submitted!!

Then this past Wednesday we met with one of the pastor's at Fivestones church where we attend, and he had a time of question/answer with us to get to know us on a more personal basis so he could write the reference letter the agency was waiting on. I have to admit I was a little nervous going to this meeting...not sure why, but once we got there it was a breeze and we had a great time talking and sharing our life story and what brought us to the point of pursing the route of adoption, etc. We had to have 1 reference letter from a pastor and 3 others sent in by people who we were not related to but had known more than 2 years and could attest to our personalities and abilities to raise kids. Those letters have all been completed and sent in to the agency thanks to the help of some very close friends. 

Financially things are moving along bit by bit as well. We were lacking around $500 to begin our home study and that came through exactly as I needed to mail the check last week! God is Good!! We just started having interest from people on purchasing puzzle pieces through our puzzle piece fundraiser, we are truly hoping that will take off so we can have an awesome keepsake by compiling the pieces purchased by every individual to complete the puzzle and help bring "baby Woods" home. We are starting our home study and that process takes 3 months to complete, upon completion we need to have raised $7,000! I know we can do it by God's grace.

I wanted to share with you as well about a seminar workshop we attended through the agency today that is a required part of the adoption process. First of all we had no idea what to expect...we knew it was an adoptive couples workshop and that it was an all day event but that was about it. I had no idea going into it what a emotionally heavy day it would turn out to be. A portion of the day was dedicated to a panel of adoptive families who shared their journeys and experiences, all of them were truly amazing! We were able to ask questions and better understand some of the unknowns and clear up thoughts that cause fear such as, "how do open adoptions work, how open are they?", "how long was your waiting period from start to finish?", "what is good advice for people just starting the process?", etc. There were at least 25 to 30 couples from all across the state of NC attending the meeting and we were all at different points of the adoption process, but it was amazing sitting in that room knowing we were all there for a common goal, to give a good home to a child who needs it. The afternoon portion of the event was dedicated to a panel of birthmothers, and that's where the really heavy emotions settled in. I was blown away by their broken life stories that lead them to the point of placing their child for adoption. Two of the young women who shared had both been homeless and in really bad situations such as domestic abuse at the time of finding out they were pregnant, they had no idea what to do but knew that aborting the baby was not an option for them. However they were very scared and didn't want to raise a baby while on the streets and not having any way to care for them. One of the girls mother persistently tried to get her to abort and when she refused her mom cut off all communication and she was left completely alone to figure it all out. It was a very low and scary point in their lives to try and figure out what to do. They both began to research the option of adoption and knew it was the right thing to do and wanted the absolute best for their child, and a mostly a life of stability that they couldn't possibly offer. There is not a day that goes by that they don't wish it could have been different and that there was a way they could have kept their child, but they have both resolved to make something of themselves, go to school, have jobs and try to make their kids proud of where they came from and what they eventually did. Another lady who works in the field of adoption now shared her life story about how she was a birthmother many years ago and was not in a good situation when she became pregnant and she placed her child for adoption way before the legal system is what it is now helping to protect the agreement made between an adoptive parent and the biological mom. The couple she selected agreed upon an open adoption with her and for the first 3 years kept up their end of the agreement, but after that became harder to contact, locate, etc and she has only seen her daughter 2x in the past 10 years when the agreement was she was supposed to be allowed a yearly visit. To hear about the deep hurt and pain she went through was extremely hard as well. I could go into more detail on all of their stories but I don't want this to go on forever. Needless to say I was holding in tears best I could all day because we were in a room full of people I didn't know well. But when we left I just felt such a heavy weight and burden that these birthmothers feel as they try to pursue what is the best for their child. I couldn't hardly talk on the way home, and Billy felt the same, we were drained. Once I got home I couldn't hold it back anymore and the tears flowed and flowed as I sobbed my heart out to God. I have such a new perspective for these birthmothers and I felt sad I had ever thought initially the only route I would want to go in adoption is closed. If I were the birthmother I would want the ongoing contact to know I had made the right decision and that my child was well and happy and ok in life. These birthmothers are people just like you and me, they have just been through so much more in life than I can ever comprehend because I don't come from a broken life but one of a very valued family relationship where we were all close and relied on each other and were fully loved. Anyone who feels led I ask to please pray with me on a consistent basis for the birthmother God will bring across our path, that we can not only take care of the most precious thing she has and is going to entrust to us, her child, but also that we can minister to her heart and show her the same amount of love and concern. The birthmothers today shared one of the biggest things that gave them the most peace was when the adoptive moms would reach out to them by text and ask how they were doing, even though they didn't have to, just showing them you care about them as much as you do their child. Many of them don't feel cared about otherwise and may not have any family/friends to turn to. 

We also learned a few other things during the meeting..I will try to keep this short..The agency told us they usually show our profile photo album to the birthmothers once they are about 7 months along. Which means when you are selected there is little time after you get that call to meet a birthmother for the first time and the actual due date of the child. Very exciting! But also a little intimidating because once we are a waiting family in 3 months after the home study in finished, we could be matched right away and it be very soon after that we have a baby.So our getting everything prepared period is now. Also in most cases the birthmothers pick the names for the child, sometimes if you have a name you really like you might could use the name they pick as the middle name. But the names they select usually have a lot of meaning to them and it means a lot if you keep that name. I had no idea that's how it worked and I honestly have mixed feelings about that part of it. So I will be praying about that. 

I didn't mean to make this soooo long but there was a lot to share. I will try to post a little bit more regularly as things happen so it isn't one big long post. Thank you again for all your continued support through prayers and financial gifts..we appreciate it!!!!